A Perfect Fit

photo-1491438590914-bc09fcaaf77aARE YOU STILL TRYING TO FIT IN?

Why do we torture ourselves this way?

When we were younger, I believe we all did it at some point to connect with our peers at school.

Somehow it continued to be a part of who we are in terms of forming friendship with others to be part of a group.

But there are times when we may not be a perfect fit and honestly, it’s okay…

Human beings always had a desire to fit in or find their tribe in order to feel whole. I guess it gave us a sense of belonging wherever we went.

For those who didn’t fit in they felt like loners or outsiders.

So fitting in has always been a big deal.

But as you grow older, wiser and more intuned with who you are as a person,  the need to fit in takes on a different meaning.

Being confident and accepting yourself is the first step to letting go of the tribal mentality.

You don’t always have to fit in, the key is to try to get along and build a good relationship with those you may come in contact with at home, work, or play.

A perfect fit is a misinterpretation of the reality of life.

None of us are truly perfect, but we are perfect for the friends, associates and family we interact with who accept us just as we are with all our warts.

Who cares about the people who has no real desire to connect.

You are better off leaving them alone because they will only make life more miserable.

Life is about building relationships with others whether family, friends or new people you may meet who has a genuine interest in you as a person.

WORKPLACE

We all know about the culture on the job and how we all try to fit in with our coworkers.

Sometimes it may be toxic and yet you may find coworkers you may connect with and have a sense of belonging…

Fitting in is not the answer to getting along at work. Building positive relationships is much more valuable.

My experience

I have been on my job for several years, and have met many people from all walks of life.

When I first started, I tried fitting into the work culture and personalities I met along the way.

Since it was a very competitive environment, people were very disengaged with anyone who they considered to be a threat of being a top producer.

I experienced that when their were people deliberately trying to sabotage my success.

So just imagine trying to be a perfect fit in that environment. It doesn’t work so the best way I coped with the situation was to continue to be the best version of myself.

I connected on so many levels with people who saw me as a valuable asset and we continue to maintain that relationship years later.

I also have a coworker on my job who in my opinion has trouble with others.. so I try to stay away from her as much as possible.

My clients tend to give me compliments and gifts. Her jealousy was very pervasive this year and she showed her true colors.

Her negative energy reminds me this is someone I need to stay away from as much as possible.

She obviously is not a perfect fit and we will not be able to connect on any level even though I’ve tried for several years.

My advice

In this short life we live in you have to find the people who will impact your life in a positive manner.

If you are trying to hard in order to be that perfect fit in a friendship or relationship with someone and you feel like you’re spinning your wheels and going nowhere give it up.

It’s not going to work with people who have bad attitudes or no real desire to connect.

Save your time for people that really matters…

Find people which will bring positive energy into the equation.

It doesn’t pay to waste your time trying to fit into relationships that just doesn’t work.

Simply put, it’s a waste of time…

Accept yourself for who you are, Find the people who sees your worth and there you will find the perfect fit for your life.

Just remember, none if us are perfect and trying to fit into scenarios that hurt us rather than help us is not smart.

Don’t torture yourself trying to fit into a situation that will make you unhappy.

You have to love yourself first,  accept yourself for who you are..

Only then will you be able to connect with others who you can build a real friendship and grow your relationship.

 

What are we thankful for?

photo of woman sitting on stone next to body of water
Photo by aymyogaschool on Pexels.com

Life can be a blast, but sometimes it can be like a raging river out of control…

I dont know how you feel,  however there are  times  I get lost in my own thoughts and my own little world.

When things are going wrong , I forget about what’s going right.

Thank God I’m alive living in this time to see all the technological advances in our world.

I have to remember to be grateful for all that’s been given and all the lessons learned along my journey.?

This is the way we grow and learn to be the person we are meant to be…

When you think your life is meaningless, guess again because you really haven’t been paying attention.

So what are we thankful for when life seizes to have meaning?

Take some time and Look around at everything we take for granted.

If you woke up this morning, be thankful

If you have a job or a business which enables you to pay your bills, be thankful.

If you can use your legs to walk be thankful.

If you have a roof over your head and clothes on your back please be thankful

If you can spend time with family and friends while sharing a meal this Thanksgiving be thankful..

There are so many people in this world who have far less while others spend time alone.

And yet they are thankful for whatever they have in spite of their circumstances.

So be thankful and kind to those who are less fortunate.

Life is a gift in so many ways. It is more meaningful than meanigless.

Try to look at the big picture…There is a beauty to life that adds meaning.

Everything in this world was created by God for mankind..so be thankful

We are blessed by the creator of the universe.

We fail to see the little things while we focus on life’s distractions.

Have a spirit of thankfulness and gratitude.,

For today is given, tomorrow is not promised

Live your life with an attitude of gratitude.

 

Have a blessed and Happy Thanksgiving.

 

 

 

Checking Out

woman on grassHave you ever felt like checking out of your day to day life for a time? I got to be honest, I have been on an emotional roller coaster ride that had me doing just that for the past couple of months.

I am here physically but not necessarily living in the moment.

After losing my mom last year, and dad this past August, I am in somewhat of a fog. The world is a little more empty without them and they are certainly missed.

CHECKING OUT IS NOT ALWAYS THE ANSWER…

Life at times can be rough, however looking for options to gratify your soul, to make you feel whole again is best.

I have to think about moving forward in order to shake that feeling of loss because as you know life goes on…

If you’ve ever been in my shoes you know exactly how I feel.  If you’re just going through the motion of everyday and not really enjoying your life, you’re really not living.

Nevertheless I’ve been contemplating different ways I can shake the feeling of just wanting to check out for a time because now I think I’m ready to move forward.

But how do I go about moving on when my mind wants to go elsewhere?

So I started listening to mindful meditation. At the beginning for 5 minutes then increasing the time as I mastered each time limit. It helps relax my mind and allows me to focus.

If you’re anything like me, as soon as I get up in the morning, my mind is on any and everything. It’s off to the races of what needs to be done that day and beyond.

This means of course I am not living in the moment. So, meditation definitely helps me  become more focused and in touch with living in the moment.

I also started listening to uplifting christian music which gets my day going in a more positive direction.

It certainly helps lift my spirit from gloom to more optimism knowing no matter what I face God is near.  I have to keep moving forward regardless of life’s pauses and trials.

Finding an oulet

But what I have found recently to really help me find my footing again is a book titled writing down your soul by Janet Conner.

Her book is about activating and listening to a voice within as you write truth about your hurts and pains. You have to learn to listen closely while writing down your soul.

I haven’t really been excited about reading a book for a long time. But this one has me captivated because of what the writer is asking you to do.

It may be this is exactly what I needed at this point of my life. I find myself writing in my journal pouring my heart out while I bleed my thoughts all over the pages.

I needed to find an outlet to express my grief and feelings that was hard to express to even the closest of friends.

This book which has been sitting on my bookshelf for quite some time was just what I needed.

I am taking my time to read it as I digest and hang on every word of this writer.

“Writing down your soul” is about really learning to listen to the voice that resides within as you write down the things in your heart that’s been hidden.

I find myself writing everyday to this voice within bearing my sadness and pain. I have also gone deeper by sharing experiences in my life which were buried all these years that I have now come to terms with….

If you are going through mind blowing decisions, life’s frustrations and pains, I recommend this book. I guarantee you will not be disappointed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Lord

photo-1474505249622-84b542980263Every time I think you’re missing in action, you show me you’re always near.

You’ve been there through every laughter

You’ve been there through every tear

You’ve been there through my pain in the darkness

You’ve been there even when it rains

You’ve been there when my world was crumbling

You’ve been there through my saddest moments

You’ve been there through my mistakes and failures

You’ve been there when I felt so alone

You’ve been there when I suffered loss

You’ve been there when I searched for life’s meaning

You’ve been there when I was looking for love

You’ve also been there in my happiest moments

And you will still be there even after I’m gone

You turn my darkness into daylight and I can see more clearly your hands is in everythingYour love is eternal…..

 

THANK YOU LORD…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Unwanted Attention

photo-1523121412938-dc85733669b8I saw you looking at me from a distance

Checking me out like a piece of meat on a

Platter you want for dinner.

Oh no….

Shying away deliberately I smiled.

Hoping to avoid your gaze, I called to my

Friend who had just entered the room.

Hoping to engage her in a conversation,

I tried desperately to ignore your attention

Which made me feel so uncomfortable.

My friend and I started  talking about

Something…..

Anything to shake off that unpleasant feeling.

To distract the thought of your

Overwhelming gaze

Which made me feel uneasy.

But I felt your presence haunting me.

That unwanted attention…

I was definitely not attracted to

Your gaping by the way which

Proved to be very annoying.

 

Behind the Veil

yuris-alhumaydy-660577-unsplash5665312828898458491.jpgLife goes on regardless of the difficult moments we endure

So don’t wallow in self pity

Don’t hide your face behind the veil of your sunshine.

Shed the darkness, the disorder, the confusion of your mind which is entangled in a nest of depressive thoughts which robs you of the beauty of life.

The fire, passions which resides within is contained yet yearning to break forth.

However it is quelched, subdued by the moods which seek to keep you suppressed and feeding off of the darkness that hides within the crevices of your mind.

Scream out, break free of the dark clouds which keeps you in a state of despair.

Climb out of the shadows which keeps you in a perpetual state of decay where you’re fighting for your very soul.

Dreading each day due to the heaviness which consumes your time and keeps you awake at night.

After the dark of night is daylight bursting forth to feed your very soul. It’s a new day full of countless possibilities.

Don’t get caught up in the rat race, trapped in a sea of forgetfulness.

Lost in a maze, fighting to escape everyday life.

Get out from hiding behind the veil in that zombie like state…

Life has meaning..

Seek and you will find your sense of belonging,

There is more to life than you are allowing in at the present.

Peace and happiness will arrive at your doorstep if you let go of the past and move on to the future.

Time will set you free….