Checking Out

woman on grassHave you ever felt like checking out of your day to day life for a time? I got to be honest, I have been on an emotional roller coaster ride that had me doing just that for the past couple of months.

I am here physically but not necessarily living in the moment.

After losing my mom last year, and dad this past August, I am in somewhat of a fog. The world is a little more empty without them and they are certainly missed.

CHECKING OUT IS NOT ALWAYS THE ANSWER…

Life at times can be rough, however looking for options to gratify your soul, to make you feel whole again is best.

I have to think about moving forward in order to shake that feeling of loss because as you know life goes on…

If you’ve ever been in my shoes you know exactly how I feel.  If you’re just going through the motion of everyday and not really enjoying your life, you’re really not living.

Nevertheless I’ve been contemplating different ways I can shake the feeling of just wanting to check out for a time because now I think I’m ready to move forward.

But how do I go about moving on when my mind wants to go elsewhere?

So I started listening to mindful meditation. At the beginning for 5 minutes then increasing the time as I mastered each time limit. It helps relax my mind and allows me to focus.

If you’re anything like me, as soon as I get up in the morning, my mind is on any and everything. It’s off to the races of what needs to be done that day and beyond.

This means of course I am not living in the moment. So, meditation definitely helps me  become more focused and in touch with living in the moment.

I also started listening to uplifting christian music which gets my day going in a more positive direction.

It certainly helps lift my spirit from gloom to more optimism knowing no matter what I face God is near.  I have to keep moving forward regardless of life’s pauses and trials.

Finding an oulet

But what I have found recently to really help me find my footing again is a book titled writing down your soul by Janet Conner.

Her book is about activating and listening to a voice within as you write truth about your hurts and pains. You have to learn to listen closely while writing down your soul.

I haven’t really been excited about reading a book for a long time. But this one has me captivated because of what the writer is asking you to do.

It may be this is exactly what I needed at this point of my life. I find myself writing in my journal pouring my heart out while I bleed my thoughts all over the pages.

I needed to find an outlet to express my grief and feelings that was hard to express to even the closest of friends.

This book which has been sitting on my bookshelf for quite some time was just what I needed.

I am taking my time to read it as I digest and hang on every word of this writer.

“Writing down your soul” is about really learning to listen to the voice that resides within as you write down the things in your heart that’s been hidden.

I find myself writing everyday to this voice within bearing my sadness and pain. I have also gone deeper by sharing experiences in my life which were buried all these years that I have now come to terms with….

If you are going through mind blowing decisions, life’s frustrations and pains, I recommend this book. I guarantee you will not be disappointed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear Lord

photo-1474505249622-84b542980263Every time I think you’re missing in action, you show me you’re always near.

You’ve been there through every laughter

You’ve been there through every tear

You’ve been there through my pain in the darkness

You’ve been there even when it rains

You’ve been there when my world was crumbling

You’ve been there through my saddest moments

You’ve been there through my mistakes and failures

You’ve been there when I felt so alone

You’ve been there when I suffered loss

You’ve been there when I searched for life’s meaning

You’ve been there when I was looking for love

You’ve also been there in my happiest moments

And you will still be there even after I’m gone

You turn my darkness into daylight and I can see more clearly your hands is in everythingYour love is eternal…..

 

THANK YOU LORD…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Behind the Veil

yuris-alhumaydy-660577-unsplash5665312828898458491.jpgLife goes on regardless of the difficult moments we endure

So don’t wallow in self pity

Don’t hide your face behind the veil of your sunshine.

Shed the darkness, the disorder, the confusion of your mind which is entangled in a nest of depressive thoughts which robs you of the beauty of life.

The fire, passions which resides within is contained yet yearning to break forth.

However it is quelched, subdued by the moods which seek to keep you suppressed and feeding off of the darkness that hides within the crevices of your mind.

Scream out, break free of the dark clouds which keeps you in a state of despair.

Climb out of the shadows which keeps you in a perpetual state of decay where you’re fighting for your very soul.

Dreading each day due to the heaviness which consumes your time and keeps you awake at night.

After the dark of night is daylight bursting forth to feed your very soul. It’s a new day full of countless possibilities.

Don’t get caught up in the rat race, trapped in a sea of forgetfulness.

Lost in a maze, fighting to escape everyday life.

Get out from hiding behind the veil in that zombie like state…

Life has meaning..

Seek and you will find your sense of belonging,

There is more to life than you are allowing in at the present.

Peace and happiness will arrive at your doorstep if you let go of the past and move on to the future.

Time will set you free….

 

 

 

 

Finding Pleasure

joshua-earle-252222Live your dreams

Change your reality

Heighten your senses

Find solace in hidden sanctuaries

of beauty and love

Gaze on the countless stars above

Get lost in the mysteries of our universe

Daydream of new life that exist beyond this world

Untold secrets and unspoken words

Pause

Find pleasure in everyday life

no matter how small the moments

Focus on what matters

Eliminate that which seeks to steal

your inner joy and prevent you from really

living the life you deserve.

 

Let’s Talk

photo-1496096113680-63bcf8182576Some people like to hide their emotions and pretend everything is ok. Well everything in life is certainly not always wonderful…

I thought this year was going to be different but it feels like an extension of last year. For the first time in years, I didn’t write my New Years resolutions for 2018. I haven’t had enough time to reflect on all the recent changes in my life.

Have you ever felt like running away from your life?

clem-onojeghuo-477553.jpgI know most of us would never admit it, but there are times when life seems to get the best of us and we are at our wits end.

It’s good to be honest with ourselves and find a way to deal with these intense emotions. Otherwise it can be like a fire. If we don’t try to extinguish it when it starts, it may spread to other parts of our life. Then we’re engulfed in a lot of flames or rather problems that may be too late to put out.

Haven’t you ever dreamt of being on an island, palm trees swaying in the wind, while relaxing on a hammock, enjoying the warm breeze as it sweeps across your face, while sipping on your favorite drink? Or maybe you have other dreams or desires that makes you feel good.

That sounds like heaven on earth. Peace and quiet is my ultimate  reward even for a brief moment in time.

There are many ways to deal with negative emotions when it suddenly creeps into your life. Running away is not always the answer. Finding creative solutions to the problem at hand will help you grow stronger and more well-rounded.

Since I can’t escape to an island at will, even though I would love the opportunity at any given time, I usually settle for using my imagination. I try to imagine the site, sounds and smells while relaxing and transcending my mind to another place.

I also write, write and write some more to be able to put those intense emotions on paper rather than leaving them in my mind to linger and show up another day..

If you don’t deal with what’s making you feel like running away even for a day, it may come back to haunt you on another day.

photo-1483884105135-c06ea81a7a80Admitting to these emotions doesn’t make you a weak person but it has the ability to make you stronger as you flush out these intensities in your life.

What are some creative  ways to deal with life’s bummers?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Soak in the Sunshine

good-morning-695024_640

Let your mind soak in the sunshine.

Don’t let it chase after the rain.

A sea of negative thoughts which fuels

negative emotions.

Sometimes resulting in unfavorable behavior patterns and

creating false beliefs of who you really are.

Dark clouds will come and dark clouds will go but

remember there is always sunshine after the rain.

Hold On, turn it off,

find happy distractions.

Good feelings of love, peace and joy,

pointing you in a new direction.

Express your creativity in unusual ways.

See yourself beyond the darkness,

beyond the pain.

where opportunity resides for change.

Saturate your mind and soak in the sunshine,

create harmony and believe light always

overcomes darkness.

Pat Fagan