I hate paying bills…

It’s like a disease that never goes away…

photo-1562240020-ce31ccb0fa7d (2)Friday’s are the best day of the week in my opinion.

I feel more free knowing the weekend is finally here and its time to do whatever I choose without rushing the day.

It’s also pay day…Yeah!!!

Now we can all pay those Pesty bills that’s like a bee always buzzing around our ears.

The majority of us live paycheck to paycheck.

We are blessed when we can afford to pay those bills.

Why has this become most peoples reality?

I believe because salaries have not gone up significantly since the 70’s in order to keep up with inflation. Housing expenses has gone through the roof, as well as other factors.

Why do I hate paying bills?

It’s like having another job…I do it, but I don’t have to like it.

Also to be quite frank,  it’s the process. It can be very stressful if it’s hard to make ends meet.

I remember seeing my mother as a child being inundated with mail. I didn’t understand it, but now its quite clear 99% were Bills.

My mother use to say in her time, paying Bill’s when she sat down to do so was like borrowing from Peter to pay Paul. In my home it was a juggling act while mom was trying to raise nine kids.

All her life, I remember her being surrounded by paperwork. Every day the mail came in, it piled up until she was able to get to it.

So it left a negative impact on my mind that I carry to this day.

Maybe that’s why I resent it. It consumed alot of her time.

Paying  bills is so intertwined in all our lives that we can’t help but hate it if there is not enough income coming in to satisfy the creditors.

We are all swimming in a sea of debt…

You might say to yourself, I have no credit card debt but there’s always something that has to be paid.

Some of us are drowning in debt and have no emergency savings.

Think about it..

You may have to pay rent, a mortgage, car loan,  car insurance, student debt etc..

There is no escape unless you are rich. However even the rich have to pay bills but I guess there peace of mind comes from the fact they can afford it.

According to USA today most Americans are struggling to pay their bills every month. That’s including people who make $100,00 plus a year. Career Builder put’s the number at 78% of U.S.

I personally would rather spend my time doing other things than paying Bill’s.

It’s a sad state of affairs…even worst is our saving potential for emergency purposes. 

Money can be a downer if you don’t have enough of it..but its not everything.

Paying Bill’s can be a nightmare for some people, but remember, its a means to an end.

If you can afford to stay away from any kind of debt, do so for your peace of mind.

The less Bill’s that you have to pay, the less stress.

Make your weekends count. Forget the mess and enjoy the rest of your weekend.

 

 

 

Don’t forget to write

If you’ve never put pen to paper before, here is some reasons to start writing…

WRITING IS NOT JUST FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE WRITERS, BLOGGERS OR AUTHORS…

brass black brown fountain pen
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

It’s for anyone who has something to say…

Writing down your thoughts on paper with a pen as you express your deep feelings is a great way to relax.

  • It improves your mood if you had a bad day.
  • Your stress level will decrease as you pour out your concerns on the page.
  • What a wonderful way to meditate without the usual methods.
  • Helps with depression and anxiety.
  • It will allow you to focus and see life more clearly.
  • This is your quiet time which allows you to be calm.
  • When you are angry…write it’s a great way to find some relief.
  • It encourages us to be more creative.
  • Writing is also influential on how we think.

Every situation you find yourself in gives you an opportunity to write. It’s therapeutic and can lead to a more positive outlook on life.

Nancy Olson, a Forbes life writer confirmed writing by hand is a powerful tool for learning. It also increases neural activity in certain sections of the brain.

When I had to study in college, the only way I would remember anything was to write it down.

For some reason my brain connected more to the information when I actually took the time to write rather than just using memorization.

Amazingly after all these years, this is my go to skill if I need to learn anything.

Try it! It actually works because you are not only using your brain, you are using your writing to remember the information.

I have been writing by hand for many years and I can definitely attest to the fact that it’s very rewarding.

Do you remember when people actually wrote letters to one another?

It may be you were to young to remember or it didn’t happen in your time.

It was a time of innocence meaning we did not have the technology that’s available today.

People who wanted to communicate in a meaningful way to friends, family or lovers, wrote and mailed letters.

We wrote, wrote and wrote some more and was very excited when we received a letter back in the mail.

Our hearts were on display in pen and ink and it felt good. We enjoyed the art of writing.

Of course if you received a bad letter, well you know what I mean…

Remember the movie Miracle on 34th street, the people wrote letters to Santa to get their point across to the Judge.

WHY DO WE WRITE?

So my point is this, writing is another way to express yourself. It is for anyone who wants to find another way to destress.

Don’t forget to write…

It’s not just for writers…Yes anyone who chooses can write.

Before getting out of bed to start my day, I find myself reaching for my journal to write about anything that concerns me

These past two years has been very trying and I am so thankful that writing has given me a way to say exactly what’s on my mind without being judged.

The ability to go deeper below the surface of my mind has given me time to examine my life while making positive changes.

It has been the most rewarding experience and helps me to relax before starting my day.

Our mind can become cluttered with thoughts we find very difficult to express with others.

But when you really allow yourself to let go by writing down your thoughts, its very liberating.

Hence the name, don’t forget to write because so many of us live our lives stuck in busyness.

We forget to take time to really get slow down and get to know who we are inside and out.

Taking time to open up to other possibilities and even finding answers to your most pressed questions could be found by allowing your mind to expand in another direction.

Writing might not be your thing, but its definitely a form of relaxation for those who would take the chance to explore it.

Even for the novice who is new to journaling, it will begin to change your life in more ways than one..

Writing is like meditation when you allow yourself to get lost in your thoughts, you would be surprised at what you learn.

By taking some time each day to write down your feelings, it will be very beneficial as you search within your soul for your life’s most pressing challenges.

IT’S VALENTINE’S DAY…WRITE A LOVE LETTER TO SOMEONE YOU LOVE. WATCH THEIR REACTION…

 

 

 

A Perfect Fit

photo-1491438590914-bc09fcaaf77aARE YOU STILL TRYING TO FIT IN?

Why do we torture ourselves this way?

When we were younger, I believe we all did it at some point to connect with our peers at school.

Somehow it continued to be a part of who we are in terms of forming friendship with others to be part of a group.

But there are times when we may not be a perfect fit and honestly, it’s okay…

Human beings always had a desire to fit in or find their tribe in order to feel whole. I guess it gave us a sense of belonging wherever we went.

For those who didn’t fit in they felt like loners or outsiders.

So fitting in has always been a big deal.

But as you grow older, wiser and more intuned with who you are as a person,  the need to fit in takes on a different meaning.

Being confident and accepting yourself is the first step to letting go of the tribal mentality.

You don’t always have to fit in, the key is to try to get along and build a good relationship with those you may come in contact with at home, work, or play.

A perfect fit is a misinterpretation of the reality of life.

None of us are truly perfect, but we are perfect for the friends, associates and family we interact with who accept us just as we are with all our warts.

Who cares about the people who has no real desire to connect.

You are better off leaving them alone because they will only make life more miserable.

Life is about building relationships with others whether family, friends or new people you may meet who has a genuine interest in you as a person.

WORKPLACE

We all know about the culture on the job and how we all try to fit in with our coworkers.

Sometimes it may be toxic and yet you may find coworkers you may connect with and have a sense of belonging…

Fitting in is not the answer to getting along at work. Building positive relationships is much more valuable.

My experience

I have been on my job for several years, and have met many people from all walks of life.

When I first started, I tried fitting into the work culture and personalities I met along the way.

Since it was a very competitive environment, people were very disengaged with anyone who they considered to be a threat of being a top producer.

I experienced that when their were people deliberately trying to sabotage my success.

So just imagine trying to be a perfect fit in that environment. It doesn’t work so the best way I coped with the situation was to continue to be the best version of myself.

I connected on so many levels with people who saw me as a valuable asset and we continue to maintain that relationship years later.

I also have a coworker on my job who in my opinion has trouble with others.. so I try to stay away from her as much as possible.

My clients tend to give me compliments and gifts. Her jealousy was very pervasive this year and she showed her true colors.

Her negative energy reminds me this is someone I need to stay away from as much as possible.

She obviously is not a perfect fit and we will not be able to connect on any level even though I’ve tried for several years.

My advice

In this short life we live in you have to find the people who will impact your life in a positive manner.

If you are trying to hard in order to be that perfect fit in a friendship or relationship with someone and you feel like you’re spinning your wheels and going nowhere give it up.

It’s not going to work with people who have bad attitudes or no real desire to connect.

Save your time for people that really matters…

Find people which will bring positive energy into the equation.

It doesn’t pay to waste your time trying to fit into relationships that just doesn’t work.

Simply put, it’s a waste of time…

Accept yourself for who you are, Find the people who sees your worth and there you will find the perfect fit for your life.

Just remember, none if us are perfect and trying to fit into scenarios that hurt us rather than help us is not smart.

Don’t torture yourself trying to fit into a situation that will make you unhappy.

You have to love yourself first,  accept yourself for who you are..

Only then will you be able to connect with others who you can build a real friendship and grow your relationship.

 

Checking Out

woman on grassHave you ever felt like checking out of your day to day life for a time? I got to be honest, I have been on an emotional roller coaster ride that had me doing just that for the past couple of months.

I am here physically but not necessarily living in the moment.

After losing my mom last year, and dad this past August, I am in somewhat of a fog. The world is a little more empty without them and they are certainly missed.

CHECKING OUT IS NOT ALWAYS THE ANSWER…

Life at times can be rough, however looking for options to gratify your soul, to make you feel whole again is best.

I have to think about moving forward in order to shake that feeling of loss because as you know life goes on…

If you’ve ever been in my shoes you know exactly how I feel.  If you’re just going through the motion of everyday and not really enjoying your life, you’re really not living.

Nevertheless I’ve been contemplating different ways I can shake the feeling of just wanting to check out for a time because now I think I’m ready to move forward.

But how do I go about moving on when my mind wants to go elsewhere?

So I started listening to mindful meditation. At the beginning for 5 minutes then increasing the time as I mastered each time limit. It helps relax my mind and allows me to focus.

If you’re anything like me, as soon as I get up in the morning, my mind is on any and everything. It’s off to the races of what needs to be done that day and beyond.

This means of course I am not living in the moment. So, meditation definitely helps me  become more focused and in touch with living in the moment.

I also started listening to uplifting christian music which gets my day going in a more positive direction.

It certainly helps lift my spirit from gloom to more optimism knowing no matter what I face God is near.  I have to keep moving forward regardless of life’s pauses and trials.

Finding an oulet

But what I have found recently to really help me find my footing again is a book titled writing down your soul by Janet Conner.

Her book is about activating and listening to a voice within as you write truth about your hurts and pains. You have to learn to listen closely while writing down your soul.

I haven’t really been excited about reading a book for a long time. But this one has me captivated because of what the writer is asking you to do.

It may be this is exactly what I needed at this point of my life. I find myself writing in my journal pouring my heart out while I bleed my thoughts all over the pages.

I needed to find an outlet to express my grief and feelings that was hard to express to even the closest of friends.

This book which has been sitting on my bookshelf for quite some time was just what I needed.

I am taking my time to read it as I digest and hang on every word of this writer.

“Writing down your soul” is about really learning to listen to the voice that resides within as you write down the things in your heart that’s been hidden.

I find myself writing everyday to this voice within bearing my sadness and pain. I have also gone deeper by sharing experiences in my life which were buried all these years that I have now come to terms with….

If you are going through mind blowing decisions, life’s frustrations and pains, I recommend this book. I guarantee you will not be disappointed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Behind the Veil

yuris-alhumaydy-660577-unsplash5665312828898458491.jpgLife goes on regardless of the difficult moments we endure

So don’t wallow in self pity

Don’t hide your face behind the veil of your sunshine.

Shed the darkness, the disorder, the confusion of your mind which is entangled in a nest of depressive thoughts which robs you of the beauty of life.

The fire, passions which resides within is contained yet yearning to break forth.

However it is quelched, subdued by the moods which seek to keep you suppressed and feeding off of the darkness that hides within the crevices of your mind.

Scream out, break free of the dark clouds which keeps you in a state of despair.

Climb out of the shadows which keeps you in a perpetual state of decay where you’re fighting for your very soul.

Dreading each day due to the heaviness which consumes your time and keeps you awake at night.

After the dark of night is daylight bursting forth to feed your very soul. It’s a new day full of countless possibilities.

Don’t get caught up in the rat race, trapped in a sea of forgetfulness.

Lost in a maze, fighting to escape everyday life.

Get out from hiding behind the veil in that zombie like state…

Life has meaning..

Seek and you will find your sense of belonging,

There is more to life than you are allowing in at the present.

Peace and happiness will arrive at your doorstep if you let go of the past and move on to the future.

Time will set you free….

 

 

 

 

This was so unexpected

 

Why do we encounter such tragedies and unhappy moments in this life?

There is always something going on and it’s not always good news. The lessons we learn on our journey can be  satisfying and others extremely painful. 

I was in the hospital recently visiting my dad, who has serious difficulties. Dad is 88 years of age and is not in good condition. It breaks my heart to see what he’s going through.

SIMPLY TRAGIC

This was so unexpected to his family….

Having said that, next to my father is a 25 year old young man who is suffering  with brain injuries from a motorcycle accident. He has no chance of surviving.

I can’t imagine what his family is experiencing. On one hand my dad has lived a long time by today’s standard. It saddens me that his life is hanging in the balance.😪

Then I look at this young man whose life is shortened in one quick moment. As a mom it breaks my heart to see his life ending so abruptly.

He has so much living ahead of him and the ups and downs of this life is sweeping it all away.

Only by the power of prayer and a miracle will he be able to walk out of that hospital. But his prognosis is serious.

Life is a battle at times and no matter how much we try, unfortunately we can’t escape from what may come our way.

The battle is real and we are at the forefront of it everyday not knowing when it will rare its ugly head. We must fight and never give up to the unpredictability of this life.

All we can do is try to live our best, be at our best and let God take care of the rest. Why? 

That’s because we are not in control of things that are unseen. We have no idea what the future holds for any of us. 

On a positive note, be thankful, praise God in spite of life’s mysteries. Trust God regardless of the circumstances.

Give God thanks and praise as you go through the storms of life and the ability to overcome the difficult times.

Thank him also for the special people he’s placed in  all of our lives and for the time we were given to share together.