Checking Out

woman on grassHave you ever felt like checking out of your day to day life for a time? I got to be honest, I have been on an emotional roller coaster ride that had me doing just that for the past couple of months.

I am here physically but not necessarily living in the moment.

After losing my mom last year, and dad this past August, I am in somewhat of a fog. The world is a little more empty without them and they are certainly missed.

CHECKING OUT IS NOT ALWAYS THE ANSWER…

Life at times can be rough, however looking for options to gratify your soul, to make you feel whole again is best.

I have to think about moving forward in order to shake that feeling of loss because as you know life goes on…

If you’ve ever been in my shoes you know exactly how I feel.  If you’re just going through the motion of everyday and not really enjoying your life, you’re really not living.

Nevertheless I’ve been contemplating different ways I can shake the feeling of just wanting to check out for a time because now I think I’m ready to move forward.

But how do I go about moving on when my mind wants to go elsewhere?

So I started listening to mindful meditation. At the beginning for 5 minutes then increasing the time as I mastered each time limit. It helps relax my mind and allows me to focus.

If you’re anything like me, as soon as I get up in the morning, my mind is on any and everything. It’s off to the races of what needs to be done that day and beyond.

This means of course I am not living in the moment. So, meditation definitely helps me  become more focused and in touch with living in the moment.

I also started listening to uplifting christian music which gets my day going in a more positive direction.

It certainly helps lift my spirit from gloom to more optimism knowing no matter what I face God is near.  I have to keep moving forward regardless of life’s pauses and trials.

Finding an oulet

But what I have found recently to really help me find my footing again is a book titled writing down your soul by Janet Conner.

Her book is about activating and listening to a voice within as you write truth about your hurts and pains. You have to learn to listen closely while writing down your soul.

I haven’t really been excited about reading a book for a long time. But this one has me captivated because of what the writer is asking you to do.

It may be this is exactly what I needed at this point of my life. I find myself writing in my journal pouring my heart out while I bleed my thoughts all over the pages.

I needed to find an outlet to express my grief and feelings that was hard to express to even the closest of friends.

This book which has been sitting on my bookshelf for quite some time was just what I needed.

I am taking my time to read it as I digest and hang on every word of this writer.

“Writing down your soul” is about really learning to listen to the voice that resides within as you write down the things in your heart that’s been hidden.

I find myself writing everyday to this voice within bearing my sadness and pain. I have also gone deeper by sharing experiences in my life which were buried all these years that I have now come to terms with….

If you are going through mind blowing decisions, life’s frustrations and pains, I recommend this book. I guarantee you will not be disappointed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Behind the Veil

yuris-alhumaydy-660577-unsplash5665312828898458491.jpgLife goes on regardless of the difficult moments we endure

So don’t wallow in self pity

Don’t hide your face behind the veil of your sunshine.

Shed the darkness, the disorder, the confusion of your mind which is entangled in a nest of depressive thoughts which robs you of the beauty of life.

The fire, passions which resides within is contained yet yearning to break forth.

However it is quelched, subdued by the moods which seek to keep you suppressed and feeding off of the darkness that hides within the crevices of your mind.

Scream out, break free of the dark clouds which keeps you in a state of despair.

Climb out of the shadows which keeps you in a perpetual state of decay where you’re fighting for your very soul.

Dreading each day due to the heaviness which consumes your time and keeps you awake at night.

After the dark of night is daylight bursting forth to feed your very soul. It’s a new day full of countless possibilities.

Don’t get caught up in the rat race, trapped in a sea of forgetfulness.

Lost in a maze, fighting to escape everyday life.

Get out from hiding behind the veil in that zombie like state…

Life has meaning..

Seek and you will find your sense of belonging,

There is more to life than you are allowing in at the present.

Peace and happiness will arrive at your doorstep if you let go of the past and move on to the future.

Time will set you free….

 

 

 

 

This was so unexpected

 

Why do we encounter such tragedies and unhappy moments in this life?

There is always something going on and it’s not always good news. The lessons we learn on our journey can be  satisfying and others extremely painful. 

I was in the hospital recently visiting my dad, who has serious difficulties. Dad is 88 years of age and is not in good condition. It breaks my heart to see what he’s going through.

SIMPLY TRAGIC

This was so unexpected to his family….

Having said that, next to my father is a 25 year old young man who is suffering  with brain injuries from a motorcycle accident. He has no chance of surviving.

I can’t imagine what his family is experiencing. On one hand my dad has lived a long time by today’s standard. It saddens me that his life is hanging in the balance.😪

Then I look at this young man whose life is shortened in one quick moment. As a mom it breaks my heart to see his life ending so abruptly.

He has so much living ahead of him and the ups and downs of this life is sweeping it all away.

Only by the power of prayer and a miracle will he be able to walk out of that hospital. But his prognosis is serious.

Life is a battle at times and no matter how much we try, unfortunately we can’t escape from what may come our way.

The battle is real and we are at the forefront of it everyday not knowing when it will rare its ugly head. We must fight and never give up to the unpredictability of this life.

All we can do is try to live our best, be at our best and let God take care of the rest. Why? 

That’s because we are not in control of things that are unseen. We have no idea what the future holds for any of us. 

On a positive note, be thankful, praise God in spite of life’s mysteries. Trust God regardless of the circumstances.

Give God thanks and praise as you go through the storms of life and the ability to overcome the difficult times.

Thank him also for the special people he’s placed in  all of our lives and for the time we were given to share together.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Flow like a River

nathan-anderson-375926-unsplashI sat in a park by a river one day,

and looked at the skies and started 

to pray. I believe we’re not here to act the fool,

to live a life breaking too many rules.

But to flow as a river with it’s twists and turns

Rushing, upon many rocks, getting purified,

Each day we try to change and learn.

To live a life which continues to flow,

One step at a time, that’s how we all grow.

A river flows into a lake you see,

And people into a sea of humanity.

Pat Fagan