Tag: relationships

A Perfect Fit

~ Patricia Fagan ~ Leave a comment

photo-1491438590914-bc09fcaaf77aARE YOU STILL TRYING TO FIT IN?

Why do we torture ourselves this way?

When we were younger, I believe we all did it at some point to connect with our peers at school.

Somehow it continued to be a part of who we are in terms of forming friendship with others to be part of a group.

But there are times when we may not be a perfect fit and honestly, it’s okay…

Human beings always had a desire to fit in or find their tribe in order to feel whole. I guess it gave us a sense of belonging wherever we went.

For those who didn’t fit in they felt like loners or outsiders.

So fitting in has always been a big deal.

But as you grow older, wiser and more intuned with who you are as a person,  the need to fit in takes on a different meaning.

Being confident and accepting yourself is the first step to letting go of the tribal mentality.

You don’t always have to fit in, the key is to try to get along and build a good relationship with those you may come in contact with at home, work, or play.

A perfect fit is a misinterpretation of the reality of life.

None of us are truly perfect, but we are perfect for the friends, associates and family we interact with who accept us just as we are with all our warts.

Who cares about the people who has no real desire to connect.

You are better off leaving them alone because they will only make life more miserable.

Life is about building relationships with others whether family, friends or new people you may meet who has a genuine interest in you as a person.

WORKPLACE

We all know about the culture on the job and how we all try to fit in with our coworkers.

Sometimes it may be toxic and yet you may find coworkers you may connect with and have a sense of belonging…

Fitting in is not the answer to getting along at work. Building positive relationships is much more valuable.

My experience

I have been on my job for several years, and have met many people from all walks of life.

When I first started, I tried fitting into the work culture and personalities I met along the way.

Since it was a very competitive environment, people were very disengaged with anyone who they considered to be a threat of being a top producer.

I experienced that when their were people deliberately trying to sabotage my success.

So just imagine trying to be a perfect fit in that environment. It doesn’t work so the best way I coped with the situation was to continue to be the best version of myself.

I connected on so many levels with people who saw me as a valuable asset and we continue to maintain that relationship years later.

I also have a coworker on my job who in my opinion has trouble with others.. so I try to stay away from her as much as possible.

My clients tend to give me compliments and gifts. Her jealousy was very pervasive this year and she showed her true colors.

Her negative energy reminds me this is someone I need to stay away from as much as possible.

She obviously is not a perfect fit and we will not be able to connect on any level even though I’ve tried for several years.

My advice

In this short life we live in you have to find the people who will impact your life in a positive manner.

If you are trying to hard in order to be that perfect fit in a friendship or relationship with someone and you feel like you’re spinning your wheels and going nowhere give it up.

It’s not going to work with people who have bad attitudes or no real desire to connect.

Save your time for people that really matters…

Find people which will bring positive energy into the equation.

It doesn’t pay to waste your time trying to fit into relationships that just doesn’t work.

Simply put, it’s a waste of time…

Accept yourself for who you are, Find the people who sees your worth and there you will find the perfect fit for your life.

Just remember, none if us are perfect and trying to fit into scenarios that hurt us rather than help us is not smart.

Don’t torture yourself trying to fit into a situation that will make you unhappy.

You have to love yourself first,  accept yourself for who you are..

Only then will you be able to connect with others who you can build a real friendship and grow your relationship.

 

Life’s Shadows

~ Patricia Fagan ~ Leave a comment

backlit-beach-clouds-289998

 Life

Is but a shadow of yesterday’s, today and tomorrow’s

WHEN

You loose someone very dear to

your heart and sadness

engulfs your very soul, remember the

MEMORIES

Cherished for a lifetime

Where laughter and joy once shared

Are not shadows but remains part

Of your existence

Where 

Happy times rules

And life is renewed to pass on new

EXPERIENCES

To a new generation

 

 

 

Retail Talk

~ Patricia Fagan ~ Leave a comment

victor-xok-615429-unsplashWhoever came up with the narrative the customer is always right?

Well, I’m here to say that’s not always true in every case. Some of the customers are down right nasty. They take pleasure in abusing managers as well as associates.

freestocks-org-182582-unsplashA woman came in to make a return on an item she purchased months ago. She demanded cash back when the original item was paid for by a credit card. After the associate explained and showed her the store written policy, she became very disgruntled and abruptly asked to speak to a manager.  She was on a mission to get what she wanted regardless of whom she insulted or made uncomfortable.

Her next tactic was to raise her voice in order to put her in a position of strength. When the manager confirmed the store return policy, this customer got so belligerent while dismissing her authority to make a decision. She proceeded to demand an audience with the senior managers in order to get what she came for which was cash back for an item the store no longer carried.

As things escalated, she continued to bark at the senior manager staff. Her method was to demand and abuse the management team until she was successful in getting her cash back.

Unfortunately I guess if you scream loud enough people will get so tired of the nonsense that they will try to accommodate you at least once in order to provide a service on behalf of the customer. But make no mistake this is not a usual occurrence and you will not be able to repeat this type of childish behaviour with the same team on future purchases. There is a reason why certain policies are put in place. However there are always people trying to abuse the system.

This lady made it very difficult for the associate as well as the entire management team. Talk about giving the customer a great shopping experience. What about the people who try to serve you to the best of their ability.

Why don’t you stop and think how you are engaging them in such an unprofessional manner. They are people too who needs your respect.

freestocks-org-187367-unsplashNext time you are trying to make a return on a purchase you made please be mindful of the store’s written policy. They are not there to give you a hard time.

All associates and managers are informed to follow the store’s written policy. Of course there are always some extreme cases which will have to be analyzed using sound judgement by the management team.

What do you think? Did this customer have the right to act so abusive?

Are the customer always right?

 

 

 

 

 

Surrender

~ Patricia Fagan ~ 2 Comments

toia-montes-de-oca-345720-unsplashSome things are out of your control no matter how hard you try..

In life, when doing your best is just not good enough it’s time to surrender. What’s a person to do?

When you try your best to take care of your family and you feel like you’re being pulled in different directions, surrender. You may feel at times doing your best is just not good enough.

When you’re working hard to build a new or old relationship and your best is just not good enough, surrender.

When you work hard at your job and no matter how much you contribute, your boss is never happy with your work, surrender.

When you’re studying and working hard at school to do your best and your teacher or Professor gives you a low grade, surrender.

To all those struggling to do their best…

What the heck, sometimes your best is just not good enough so go ahead and surrender..

Surrender to the fact that no one is perfect so all you can give is your best.

Have peace knowing there are some things you can’t change and others you can depending on the circumstances.

Surrender, learn to let it go or it will get the best of you if you allow it to destroy your thinking.

Make the necessary changes in order to be effective and happy with who you are and your contributions.

Then surrender and be happy knowing you have done all that you can possibly do in any given situation.

If your best is still not good enough, hang in there and surrender, turn it over to the God above and have serenity knowing you have done your best.

I tried to do my best and if my best is not good enough so be it..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Scrooged

~ Patricia Fagan ~ Leave a comment

jez-timms-177420I’m no Scrooge, but lately I feel like the main character of that movie. I certainly was not a fan of his eccentric behavior. He was unkind, grumpy and nothing  excited him about Christmas. 

Christmas Past

Sometimes I wish Christmas felt as magical and spiritual like it was when I was a child. My parents would celebrate the birth of Jesus by having us attend midnight mass. Then we would come home and enjoy all kinds of goodies while preparing for Christmas day. Spending the day with our family and opening up our presents was very special.

Christmas Present

Today, I spend my time working ten to twelve-hour days wishing the season was over. Holidays like Christmas has become a tradition and as such is related to more stress than pleasure. People are so busy rushing around to buy that perfect gift for family and friends that they forget about the real meaning of Christmas. What if giving gifts was not part of this Holiday? Wouldn’t it be nice to celebrate the birth of our Lord spending quality time with family and friends?

The Public

I have had the opportunity to deal with the public for several years during various holiday shopping sprees. Working for a very large retailer, I formed many relationships with my customers and got their views on shopping for the holidays especially at Christmas. Besides listening to stories of fights in the parking lots, lost wallets or missing packages and more we can chalk it all up to unnecessary aggravation.

Christmas future

Where did we go wrong? Shopping has become more of a chore at Christmas. I have met some incredible people who have been duped into this shopping extravaganza. They are so relieved once their list is completed.  Rushing through the season of what should be a time for joy and celebration, has left most of us tired and broke. Maybe Christmas future should be based on a revolution of change.

Think about creative ways you can reduce stress by opting out of giving presents to people who really don’t need more than they already have…

Finding new ways to celebrate the season will bring more joy into you life. Get out of the guilt trap and remember if you must share gifts, make it magical for the children.

What do you think?