Tag: women

Unwanted Attention

~ Patricia Fagan ~ Leave a comment

photo-1523121412938-dc85733669b8I saw you looking at me from a distance

Checking me out like a piece of meat on a

Platter you want for dinner.

Oh no….

Shying away deliberately I smiled.

Hoping to avoid your gaze, I called to my

Friend who had just entered the room.

Hoping to engage her in a conversation,

I tried desperately to ignore your attention

Which made me feel so uncomfortable.

My friend and I started  talking about

Something…..

Anything to shake off that unpleasant feeling.

To distract the thought of your

Overwhelming gaze

Which made me feel uneasy.

But I felt your presence haunting me.

That unwanted attention…

I was definitely not attracted to

Your gaping by the way which

Proved to be very annoying.

 

I never want to do that again

~ Patricia Fagan ~ Leave a comment

 

I never want to do that againWho are we kidding? It’s the same story we tell ourselves over and over again in order to change our behavior, yet it remains the same. Amazingly, without realizing it, our lives are being impacted like a scene out of the Twilight Zone.

Traffic Jam

This morning, I woke up at my normal time and got ready for work in my usual manner. Side tracked with a minor problem, I left the house a little later than usual. I wish I can say this is the first time but there are everyday distractions which holds my attention every now and then. To my surprise, when I got on the Highway, there was an inordinate amount of traffic due to lane closures for pothole repair.

Beat The Clock

I got off the next exit in order to find a way around the traffic. Time was running out and I was driving a little faster than normal. Feeling stressed and trying to beat the clock, I went through several towns in order to get back on the Highway. Isn’t it funny in life when you’re running late, it never fails, there is always a truck driving very slowly, a person who is in retirement mode on a Sunday morning drive or someone going shopping on their day off in front of you. So while in your mind, you’re in the fast lane at 80 miles an hour, tense with your heart racing to get to work on time, they are driving 20 miles an hour. Ouch!

I pulled into the parking lot and got out of my car running fast as if my life depended on it, I made it just in the nick of time. Out of breath and trying to compose myself, I said, “I never want to do that again.” Really, it’s not the first time and it may not be the last. Life has a way of knocking you off your feet when you least expect it.

How many times do we tell ourselves we will never do the following:

  • We will never eat more than our stomach can handle. Then we eat more and more until we are uncomfortable and our stomach is bloated.
  • We will never be late for work to the point where rushing becomes a habit every morning. Unfortunately for some of us, it becomes a habit which is hard to break.
  • We will never spread gossip or slander our neighbor.
  • We will never spend more than we can afford. Have you looked at your credit cards lately?
  • We will never drink to get drunk to the point where it affects our ability to function in a normal manner. Hangovers is not particularly fun.
  • We will never drive over the speed limit and then suddenly you get pulled over for speeding.
  • We will never fight with our spouse, friends, or coworkers if possible, OOPS!

There are so many things in our life which we wish we can change. Unfortunately, if you do something habitually, it becomes a habit which is hard to break. It’s not impossible as long as we are willing to commit to making changes in order to break the cycle. For instance, I could have made a decision to leave my house a little earlier in order to compensate for any problems that may arise. But sometimes its easier to keep doing the same thing over and over again without thinking of the consequences that may result from this pattern of behavior. I believe at this juncture of our lives, its time to break the cycle and commit to making the changes which will make life more bearable.

Have you ever had one of those moments you wish you could change?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

High Heel Pumps

~ Patricia Fagan ~ Leave a comment

shoe-1476312_640

From Merillon ave to Penn Station New York

A little bit of vanity can skew your thinking in order to conform to the trends in society. I remember walking to the train station in high heel pumps in order to catch an early train from Merillon ave to Penn Station New York. My feet were strong in those days, and I never stopped to consider the consequences.  I tried to look as cute as can be in my pointy toes high heels pumps which were a couple of inches off the ground. I worked in the Fashion Industry, and Seventh Avenue, was my destination.

Following the Crowd

I was following the crowd, rushing to and from work without contemplating the result and discomfort of walking in high heel pumps. At that time, it was about walking in style and being in fashion. Who would have thought I would trade in high heel pumps for a pair of sneakers.

A Rude Awakening

One morning as I was walking in those high heel pumps, crowds of people were walking in unison to work. As we were all ready to cross on 34th street,  down I went in the middle of the street. Ouch! I turned around and got up quickly to regain my composure. Of course, not one person turned around to help me. People were in a zombie like state and was following their own agenda.  Years later, I laugh about that experience and thank God I wasn’t seriously hurt. My pride was a little bruised and that was more than enough.  I had a rude awakening about following the trends set in society.

From High heel Pumps to Sneakers

After that day, I traded my high heel pumps, and I started wearing sneakers in order to go to and from work. I didn’t care about the trends, but walking and being in comfort. That was the day I did a complete round about. I started thinking differently about the life I was living and figured out what benefited my lifestyle.

High heel pumps is a metaphor for in this article in reference to how we respond to life happenings everyday. Are you comfortable in your own shoes? Or are you ready to trade in your pair for a pair that sets your own trend?

Lessons Learned

I learned several important lesson that day:

  • It doesn’t pay to look cute if your comfort is at stake.
  • You have to think for yourself and not be a crowd pleaser.
  • Trends come and go and just because it’s a trend, it doesn’t mean you have to follow society’s way of thinking.
  • Set your own trends, be yourself and find out what works for you in all aspects of life
  • Sometimes, you’re on your own, as you look around for a helping hand. Don’t despair, get up dust yourself off and keep moving forward.
  • It’s ok to trade in High Heel Pumps for sneakers even if its only to and from work.
  • It’s all about finding remedies for the choices we make in life otherwise “we will reap whatever we sow.”

 

                                                                                                             Pat Fagan

 

 

 

 

OFF TOPIC

~ Patricia Fagan ~ Leave a comment

FALSE PERCEPTIONS

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We live in one of the most richest countries on the planet. Yet we complain about what we don’t have, rather than thanking God for all his blessings.  As individuals, we may not have a lot of money, but we have the essential comforts in order to live a more productive life. Our false perceptions about our world, keeps us from looking beyond what we see, when we are focused on our own reality.

poverty

When we stop to reflect about some of the people living in our global community, In comparison we are more than blessed.  Unfortunately, in other countries,  not everyone has the ability to obtain the basic necessities for everyday life. Their are countries where the life expectancy, gross national income per capita and average years of schooling is lower than western societies.

I saw a post on Facebook recently shared by a friend, which reminded me of the reality of children across the world who are starving in orphanages. It was so in my face, I was shocked into the reality of the importance of giving. These kids were naked, hungry, extremely thin to the point, you weren’t quite sure of their age. Their reality is one of hunger, lack of clothing, sadness, and the inability to have their basic needs met.

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Our false perception about our own country blinds us from the truth. In a country as rich as ours, there are 2.5million kids who are homeless, an 8 percent increase in America today. There are also 13 million children who live in households that do not get food on a regular basis in  order to nourish their bodies.

Why in a world of plenty, do so many children and people go homeless and hungry? I know it’s  complicated and not as simple a problem to solve. However, the way I see it, we can all do our part. I know there are various organizations doing their part in order to try to end world hunger. Yet there is so much more to be done.

Within our own reality, we can all give a little to continue the struggle of ending poverty and homelessness.  We can start by taking off the blinders and keeping it real. Having a false perception only skews your view  of what’s really going on in our world today.

Errand Girl

~ Patricia Fagan ~ 2 Comments

living_with_a_cell_phone_12The name Errand Girl was given to me by my Mom in a fun way  because it seemed like every time she tried to get in touch with me, I was always running an errand. As funny as it may seem, this is a part of my life if given the choice I would prefer to avoid. Unfortunately between my daily chores and my job, there are trips to the grocery store, the cleaners, home projects and all of the other places one has to take their children.

When I decided to create a new reality, I knew in my heart in this area of my life something has to give. If I can implement small changes by inserting trips to a spa, volunteering in order to give back or doing things I truly enjoy and limiting some of the other errands, living in this life would take on a whole new meaning. When I was younger, I don’t recall having so much of my time preoccupied by errands. As  we get older, we have more and more responsibilities, whether its our home, our job or family and other outside influences. Continue reading “Errand Girl” →